Bangkok, you're a beautiful odd one

Written on 1/11/12

It's been three days since I landed in bangkok. My plan was to be here for a couple of days, get some malaria meds, and make my way out to the monastery. That has proven to be much more difficult since everything here runs of a different rhythm than what I am used to. The drivers of Taxi's, tuk tuks, and motor bikes speed along the road ways, honking their horns only occasionally to let someone know there coming through. The best is when you're walking along the side walk, and at the same time that a monk is talking on his cellphone, a motorcycle drives right next to him. After have odd hours of sleep the day and night before, I and a random hostel buddy went out for breakfast. As we strode past the Hindu temple, garlands being strung and sold on the street, cats in a posse ran past us while a dog laid in between two trash cans sleeping. Getting to the hole in the wall restaurant, the food was all being cooked outside in gas heated woks. Great gobs of who knows what piled in metal trays. I pointed and hoped for the best, but was assured by the simple phrase of 'Jay' (the thai word for vegetarian), that I'd be safe.  I ordered  fried bananas wrapped in some kind of leaf, with rice, and spicy veggies. I watched the chef take the food out of the tray, and heat it with coconut oil in the wok. 5 minutes later, a hot plate of food donned itself to me. The food was anything less than amazing. The Englishman sitting in front of me had a skeptical smile, and looked at me like I'd taken him to eat in a parallel universe. But in the end, dove in, loving every taste of it.

Through the course of my day, after getting scammed to buy popcorn kernels for pigeons to celebrate the new year (100 baht!), and scammed by a taxi driver who drove us all around town getting us lost and then trying to charge us 200 baht for the ride, my patience for bangkok was running thin. And still there is a calmness here. The few shanti homes that I saw traveling along the river by boat had people waving in absolute pleasure. The temples where massive golden buddhas sat and laid, were teaming with faithful devotees of the path. These little shops where, beyond the people that are pressuring you to buy everything in the store, are content folks who chat away, not really caring whether or not you buy something. There really is a feeling here that I can't really describe, except through experienced story. That's bangkok.

A word on meditation:

Meditation, to be honest, has been difficult. I seem to be distracted by uncomfortable feelings more than anything else. But I continue to sit, laughing when I get to the point of hot boredom. When I come out of the meditation, I am happy, content, and light hearted. That's what my practice is right now. And because of that growth, there is change, which is always difficult. I'm learning to love it all anyway. The more that I continue this practice into my daily living, the more purpose driven I feel.

A few words I've left on sheets of paper at temples:

Sitting in front of you, inside me

The gold transcends as love of the
common invisible.

A Few Words

I Arrived in Bangkok yesterday morning at about one and went to the hostel.
    I slept soundly.
       I met some folks and went out for food.
         I came back to the hostel and fell asleep.
           I'm going back to sleep.

Beyond everything, I've allowed myself to see the magic of this place wherever it reveals itself. I am not seeking anything but the experience of the now. That said, I am not surprised of the subtle beauties that seem to draw closer the more that I am here.

A Word about the Adz

If y'all haven't noticed, there are now adz that are appearing on my blog. In an effort to earn a little cash, I've agreed to let some adz be shown on the blog. This is a further effort to stick it to the man (Obviously I am joking. If I really wanted to stick it to the man, I wouldn't have any adz at all). If you could please click on the ads from time to time, I'll end up with a check at the end of every month, thus funding me to have a nice meal where ever I am. You don't have to buy anything. Just click on them and delete the site. Cheers.

Waking Mountain

My brother and I walked through the moonlit night to see the meteor showers. The hike took us about an hour and a half. As luck would have it, two owls hooted to guide us on the path. When we woke, this is what we saw. Love you Ryman, and all that you do. And don't do.

Just for Fun

Just for fun, running up a hill. Loving life. Aint it just grand? And if it isn't, why not?

Some healing

12/12/11

Growing up in Malibu Ca (among other places), there wasn't a whole lot of natural environments that were immediately visible to the city. It seemed that growing up there always had to do with driving somewhere, buying something, and then using that something to do the thing that you wanted to do, just so you could be in nature. The photos taken here, were of a lot, filled with dying crab grass. It was only used once a year for a chili cook off where trucks would roll in, touting carnival rides and cheap entertainment. Unhealthy food and loud raucous music was blasted in a five mile radius. I can remember looking at the lot, even in my rebellious teenage days, and thought to myself 'Why is this empty lot here. 

It is now a reparian eco-system thriving with a range of natural beauty. Cranes looking for fish in the ponds, tiny birds flying from fallen leaf tree, speaking together in a clandestine tongue. The area had been completely overfauled by the care of many of Malibu's citizens willing enough to devote volunteer hours and money. All the organisms living here are native to the malibu ecosystem that existed and thrived before sprawling development came in and took advantage of beautiful landscapes like this. Now this once abandoned lot is a home to so many humbly living creatures. Not only that, but the site is left to take care of itself. 

Walking through the scenery, my father and I saw how everything was growing together, that nothing  was tampered with. The plants and leaves that had fallen off the trees were able to decompose on the ground below. There were huge berms that encased the view from the many noisy cars speeding down the pacific coast highway. It really was a site to behold, none of which I hope to encapsulate in the phone photos I took. 

I walked away from this experience changed. Being reminded that even in a community like Malibu, there is still enough of an appreciation of nature to dedicate an abandoned lot to something like this. Sometimes we are given the opportunity to make a real difference, and use that difference to promote indigenous growth in the midst of an ever growing urbanized landscape. I am very happy to be sharing this with you. 

On another note, but on the same cadence of healing, my father was having some muscle strain in his right arm. He pulled his tendon 3 weeks ago playing frisbee with some friends. Per his request, I gave him body work. It was the first time I'd given body work to an immediate family member. And it felt appropriate that I give it to him. Although the issue wasn't cured, my father felt a lot of relief afterwards. 

12/14/11

After I gave my father another treatment, the pain completely vanished. I feel a sense of deep honor to have healed a man who has done so much for me in my life. Love you dad. 

A friend of mine once said to me 'The way you measure someones spiritual success is by watching them with their parents'. And that is certainly true for me. My dad and I got into it this evening about the usual this and that, but it quickly transformed into the right and wrong of the world. How my ideas were better than his, and blah blah blah. Ultimately I see it as an opportunity to learn how to listen more and pause...with some sense of grace. Oh mindful coyote, I have much to learn of your sage ways. 

PS Thanks to all the boys at BRAVO. That certainly was a good one guys. 

Tay

Leaving Portland, Meditating on a Train

Yesterday marked my last day in Portland for a stretch. My plane ticket for Thailand says that I'll be flying back on the 9th of September, but we'll see if that holds up with my exploring and curious nature. I'll be living in Santa Barbara for the next moth before I fly out of LAX to Bangkok.

Meagen, my partner, and Tsarra, my Portland mother blew kisses as I walked through the gate. I will truly miss Portland on so many levels. The fear and anxiety that I've had for the last couple of weeks about not wanting to go, how I'd miss my friends and family too much to enjoy life has almost vanished. I feel lighter, like I have some more gusto to explore places that I haven't been to. It's very liberating for this almost 29 year old to feel. At the same time I am battling with some really serious ideas about where I should be in the world. In society. House, wife, kids, two car garage dreams aren't even something that I need for myself anymore, and as the hours pass, I feel more clear about my decision to wander for the next nine months. Hallelujah is blaring a beautiful siren in my ears. I feel a sense of purpose in my move and even more in the power of living simply out of a back pack. Living this way, or so my experience has showed, allows me to feel my truest potential. The same clothes, same stuff, less stuff, interacting with people as my entertainment, it's all fresh. Like I get to eat fruit straight off the vine. Maybe it's just the going, moving slow from place to place. But for some reason, I feel right at home with it.

My dharma sister Sara took the train with my as far as Sacramento. It was a nice transition to have her to talk with as the train rolled away from union station. There is, for those of you unaware, a space large enough to have a sit and a few yoga poses at the back of every car. Before we both turned in, we sat in meditation at the back of the train. I found it very inspiring for me to sit in the rocky car as I lowered my gaze to the lint covered floor. I would highly recommend that if you are planning extended train travel, you do the same.

Besides the wines of spolied children late into the night, and a man with night terrors, I had an undisturbed sleep. I had a coffee substitute drink that gave me enough energy to sit in the observation car. I gazed at the California coastline and wrote. Peaceful poetry. I think I'll trail off for some sleep.

Before I do, I want to thank all those in portland who have made my life there a memorable one. I'll miss all of you, and hope to see you on the long journey onward.

***

Day after writing this:

I feel fantastic. The sun. The movement. Putting my bicycle back together. Being back at home. I feel ready to make this move. AZOO!

The Photo:

Upon leaving Paso Robles, I saw all of these great big trees. I found them inspiring, and was happy to see them still thriving around farming project that the train was moving past.